As a “preacher’s kid” myself, I feel I can speak on the subject. Us preacher’s kids have taken some heat over the years. We have acquired a bit of a bad reputation. Rebellious is the adjective most often attached to my p.k. fraternity. Unfortunately, rightly so. This is really nothing new.

¹¹ And the LORD said to Samuel: “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle. ¹² At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family—from beginning to end. ¹³ For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them. ¹⁴ Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, ‘The guilt of Eli’s house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.’” 1 Samuel 3:11-14 (NIV)

Apparently Eli’s kids lived up to the p.k. rep. They had become rebellious and Eli had overlooked it. Eli had faithfully served God’s people, but neglected his own kids. God’s response? Strip him of his ministry position. Samuel would step up to fill Eli’s role. But wait . . . .

¹ When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as judges for Israel. ² The name of his firstborn was Joel and the name of his second was Abijah, and they served at Beersheba. ³ But his sons did not walk in his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice. 1 Samuel 8:1-3 (NIV)

Another p.k. in rebellion. Once again we see the children of one of God’s called turn from the faith of their father. And once again we see a ministry position lost (1 Samuel 8:4-5). We don’t know a lot of details in these two instances. Did Eli and Samuel get too caught up in their service to others? Why didn’t Eli address the sins of his kids? All we know is their kids rebelled and God removed them from their roles. Why? Perhaps because that’s what it took for them to give the needed attention to their families? We can only assume.

Obviously this doesn’t always happen. Parents can do everything right and their kids can still, through the power of choice, travel a destructive path. Maybe it’s the exception, and not the rule. But we see it twice in 1 Samuel. Most of us have experienced it in our own lives or the lives of others we know. Therefore we have to do what we can to prevent it.

The p.k. rebellion usually happens when kids feel like they have been pushed down the priority chain of their pastor parent. When it seems that everyone else’s needs are more urgent than the needs of the one in the next room. Pastor’s get so engrossed in the expectation to take care of the church family that they ignore the command to care for their immediate one (1 Tim. 3:4-5). It can happen so quickly.

I was fortunate. My Dad never looked to our family as a place of secondary service. I never once doubted my importance to him. I was by no means a perfect kid. When I acted in a way that was inappropriate my dad was present enough to notice and loved enough to respond. And I’m determined to do the same for my kids. Doing this means I have to build boundaries that may make some “church folks” unhappy.

#1 – I am a child of God, a husband, a father, then a pastor. Pastor is a distant 4th to the first three.

#2 – I am not available 24/7. If someone at Vintage has a need there will be someone there for them at all times. That someone will not always be me. It is not the pastor’s job to care for the church. It is the church’s job to care for each other.

The spiritual health of my wife and kids will always be priority one!